Choosing Life.

See, I have set before you this day, life and good, death and evil…I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse, therefore choose life- Moses, Deuteronomy 30:15-19 (H/T Veronica Villanueva/The Grace of Cancer)

Being diagnosed with a rare blood cancer known as multiple myeloma, my spiritual, emotional, physical coping mechanisms developed and built up with the guidance from my life mentors, business partners and business mentors, and especially spiritual & faith mentors.  A spiritual mentor of mine told me once, “Most people live and die never knowing the person God created them to be.”  I realized that I was made in God’s image from the start, but over my lifetime, I had lost this creative love.  Through our church and the Diocese of Oakland, I learned about and joined progressive spiritual reflection and healing programs such as Alpha, Called and Gifted, and 40 Weeks.  In these programs, I learned that we have not just physical enemies surrounding us daily, but especially those in our minds such as discouragement, doubt, despondency, fear, worry, and denial, that lead us to places of desolation.  With deeper reflection, we can discern these patterns, and train our mind through spiritual exercises and activities that increase faith, hope, and love– leading us to a place of increased consolation.  I learned about the power of prayer, and how on a deeper level it can be an affirmation of your vision; and, consequently, I learned how to pray.  It has been said that “when prayer becomes your habit, miracles become your lifestyle.” It just made sense that I decided to strive to continually be the next best version of myself.

Thank you for reading my story, as you go through it, please know that all donations are welcome as a means to raise financial support for my family.                    

Heritage:  There is Glory in Your Story

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good…to give you a future and a hope  (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am a 4th generation American whose ancestors, like most of the earliest Chinese immigrants, came from Guangdong province in China. My maternal grandfather, William Wong, was a pioneer in the Chinese Canadian community, starting Toronto’s first Chinese community center in the 1930s when there were just 3,000 Chinese in Canada.  He was a bilingual, advanced degree educated (US)student.  He organized the community to successfully overcome the Canadian federal government’s racist immigration laws and policies. My maternal grandmother, his wife, comes from seven siblings who were career artists in China (sculptor, music conductor, pianist, painter) during the start of the new Republic of China and through today’s Communist Party era.  My paternal, great grandfather was a San Francisco railroad worker, and my paternal, grandmother traces her lineage straight to the Ming Dynasty emperor.  I am so blessed to know about my rich heritage and lineage, which continues to guide me to this day. 

Arrival.

My personal journey began when I arrived on this Earth in 1970, born a healthy 7 lb kid into a family of five, being the youngest of three total siblings.  I was delivered at the New York Presbyterian-Columbia Hospital, New York City, where my mom worked as a registered dietitian, just blocks away from my parents apartment.  They moved across the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey, shortly after Malcolm X’s assassination and other uprisings in the area.  I consequently grew up in a new suburban, predominantly white middle class 40,000 person town.  I was baptized Presbyterian, like my parents and their parents, and was active in our local church and the Northern NJ Chinese community center social activities. 

In high school, I founded the first Asian Club to promote heritage and unity, and was a scholar athlete playing varsity tennis and basketball, amidst overcoming often daily racial stereotypes that Asian men couldn’t play basketball.  I did an internship for one of the first female state legislators, and an infant health advocacy non profit, and was a student at Yale summer school.  A Canadian immigrant, my mother became a local neighborhood activist, founding a civic group that resisted the encroachment of public lands by large corporate developers, while also successfully advocating the school district to include Chinese language courses at my public high school.  She involved me in all her activities, where I learned how to speak my mind, advocate and organize.  My senior summer, I did my first pilgrimage–  traveling to Taiwan and exploring my cultural heritage in a global program that my maternal grandfather helped establish in the 1960s, with hundreds of other young adults of Chinese descent. 

Broadened Horizons.

In this spirit, I decided to take a leap of faith and continue to broaden my horizons, attending Oberlin College (Ohio)-- an out of state, private liberal arts school, touted as one of the first white schools to admit African Americans, and first male schools to admit women.  The next four years I had an academic pilgrimage of sorts, being introduced to new theories on the intersections of race, gender, sexuality, and income, while also learning about vegetarianism, self-dependency, and identity politics. I joined a variety of efforts in student activism, and made my second journey to China as a student in the school’s first language program in China, and amidst the turmoil of China’s burgeoning democracy movement in 1989.  This changed my perspective on life, humbling me to be in my country of ancestral heritage, among my newfound family members who I learned were estranged from my grandparents for 50 years. 

It’s been said that “it costs nothing to smile – and happiness is free”; sometimes we tend to take this for granted living in our comfort zones.  I felt extremely blessed to witness people living a life of dignity and happiness in a third world country, that perhaps we didn’t have in a first world one.  I decided to thus continue my journey west to California and in the spirit of my ancestors, blaze new trails in organizing and social justice; I was especially angered by the recent LA police beating of Rodney King and motivated by the subsequent responses around the nation. 

Amidst Justice, Compounding Anxiety

I landed a scholarship in a national community organizing training center that inserted me into the SF Bay Area world of full-on civic engagement.  Recently, my priest told me that activism is considered the highest form of humanity, as the need for justice and fight against greed has been around since the dawn of time – just ask the revolutionary, Jesus!  I met my then girlfriend and future wife, a third generation Oakland native, and managed to buy a fixer-upper house on a grassroots, non profit employee salary in the midst of the first Bay Area housing boom.  My wife with God’s grace, wonderfully gifted me two healthy beautiful kids (a boy and girl, 17 months apart). 

After 25 years of toiling in non profit grassroots organizing and advocacy, I felt healthy, yet also definitely stressed and under financial duress-- with no concrete or strategic plan for our kids\\\' future.  The continual instability of the nonprofit sector, along with the relentless market and economic downturns (2008, 2016) constantly bothered me and weighed heavily on my spirits and attitude.  I lost hope and my faith deteriorated.  Consequently, the onset of depression and anxiety compounded, and my health worsened, leading me to become pre-diabetic and resulting in my taking anxiety medication.  Despite outwardly appearing in shape -- I was out of shape.  

Growing vision, dreams

“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.”  - Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich.

I decided to return to school, and got an MBA in Global Innovation and Strategic Development, while re-exploring a life long dream of researching my family genealogy and heritage.  However, after over two decades of struggle and having lost my faith, I thus was forced to recognize that my current career path would not allow me to realize my goals or ideal life; that I didn’t want to be working for someone else’s dreams or goals.  I was looking for something better and more sustainable over the long term.  

The grace of God intervened when I found an opportunity with the horsepower to course correct, where I learned about a strategy for creating a generational legacy-- one that has been used by the wealthy (e.g. The Rockefeller Family, Walt Disney, etal.) since the founding of the Internal Revenue Service in 1917.  I decided to put aside my faith-less, poverty mindset of skepticism, and that I would not just survive, but thrive.  Subsequently I began a business entrepreneurial venture, got licensed with the State as a financial professional, and joined a network and movement with the mission of no family left behind.  It would help me and my community reach our dreams by revolutionizing and democratizing the wealthiest industry in the world– the financial industry-- while protecting my heritage and creating, building, and sustaining a replicable legacy for my family and future generations.

I had decided it was time to Show up, Step up, and Dream up. (WFG 2023 Convention theme) 

I began my next journey with changes in my mindset, leaving behind my scarcity perspective and embracing one of abundance; moving from negativity to positivity, and recentering my perspective around the five F's of Faith, Family, Finance, Fitness, Fun/fulfillment. These interconnections began to return me to a new, deeper spirituality, and re-engagement with my wife’s ancestral church-- a loving, welcoming, and nurturing multiracial environment, known as St Patrick’s parish in West Oakland; the place that was originally my wife's maternal grandmother's neighborhood parish, and where we got married and had our kids baptized.  

Journey of the Five F’s.

My business mentor and I were confident I would qualify for permanent life insurance, a central part of a multi-pronged strategy to reach financial independence.  With the application, a blood and urine test- while usually costing upwards of $400- can be free.  However, much to our surprise and my chagrin, my test came back with two deficiencies. The results revealed that I was outside the range--  high in Globulin and Total Protein.  I appealed to my physician, and asked to be re-tested for these specific areas. However, his insensitive, ignorant (yet sometimes very common) response shocked me just as much--  that 'life insurance was a scam', and that I "...had nothing to be concerned about..." 

Abiding by his ignorance and attitude, I decided to begin my own health journey.  For the next eighteen months after the initial blood tests, I upgraded my exercise to boldly returning to the basketball court with eventual two-days a week, full court, indoor 5-5s; drinking mangosteen to reduce inflammation and boost immunity; adjusting my diet by reducing processed food intake, cutting out fast food, fried food, candy and sweets.  While along the right road to renewed health, however, my blood test results did not improve.  I pressed on with the physician, asking for and receiving second and third doctor opinions, with no improvement or changes.  Finally, I filed a grievance and demanded that he test me specifically for Globulin and Total Proteins.  After much delay, he finally agreed and had me tested.  One week later, he called me with a sad voice saying he would have to refer me to the Hematology and Oncology department for further testing, as he was afraid I might have a type of rare blood cancer. 

Like me, my physician was a Chinese American man, east coast raised and educated, a father to young kids, and a husband.  He had been my doctor for 20 years.  Sometimes we can trick ourselves into believing that those we may feel most comfortable with have our best interests and are most supportive; rather, my sense of false cultural pride had led me to blindly put my faith in him.

In disbelief, I kept the potential diagnosis to myself, and decided not to tell my wife, kids, parents, or siblings/family, until I got a true grasp of my situation, figured out a plan, and found my narrative.  

The chief Hematology oncologist eventually convinced me to get more tests, including a Bone Marrow Biopsy (BMB), along with PET, CT and MRI scans.  (I later learned that the BMB is when they insert a needle into your hip bone and extract a sample of blood from the bone marrow to determine your platelet count) 

The results?  I felt very unaware of what I would be told and not understanding the test numbers or focuses, it didn’t feel promising. I was besieged and confused by the new language of medical terms –  protein electrophoresis, immunoelectrophoresis, kappa, lambda light chains, SPEP, M-Band1, M-band 2, monoclonal antibodies, daratumumab, Spike in the Gamma region, etal. 

In 2019, a few weeks after the results and just before my 49th birthday, I reluctantly met with the head of the Hematology and Oncology Department.

The Birthday Diagnosis and my Life-changing decision 

I walked in the small hospital patient room and shortly afterwards was joined by an older white man in a doctor’s lab coat, with a slight beard, eye glasses, and sad eyes.  He proceeded to tell me that based on the test results, he was diagnosing me with Smoldering Multiple Myeloma, a very early stage of blood cancer, that can result in deterioration of the bones and tissues and lead to eventual death, due to gradual loss of white blood cells (the healing ones).  He then informed me that there is no proven way to determine how anyone gets cancerous cells in their body, and ultimately that Myeloma, although treatable, is incurable.  Further, if my cells do not progress in the next year or two, I have a higher percent chance of living longer, and if they don’t progress in the next 5 years, an even higher chance.  

As I sat there hearing him speak, I could feel my resistance to his diagnosis building up.  I knew that my own background– biology, ethnicity, age, geographical living experiences, and gender – probably didn’t match his data or stats.

I figured it was a no brainer when I asked him, “I don’t believe that I fit the traditional profile, so what can you tell me about people like me, and are there examples of overcoming this?!?" 

He looked at me with sad, condescending eyes and in a patronizing fashion, gently said, “I have been doing this for over 30 years, I have been on all the national cancer boards and agencies, and there are no data nor guidelines that point to a cure.” 

I then asked, “What do you suggest I do, then?” 

And he replied, again in a 'God-like’ manner, ”As you are currently asymptomatic and healthy, there is nothing you can do other than continue to live your best life.  I will suggest we test you every 3 months or 6 months, and monitor for the next few years.”

I told him straight to his face, looking firmly into his eyes, “Why should I wait for this to get me, if at all?  I have too much at stake – an amazing beautiful wife, two young wonderful kids, a new career, not to mention a house mortgage to pay off, and more!  I will beat this, with or without you, especially at this time when I am ‘healthy’.  And, if you want to, you can claim all the credit for me making history and showing that it can be done. I want to get tested monthly, and will do whatever it takes.”

My recent history of successfully fighting from the margins for those in my family and community against seemingly insurmountable odds was on my side, the blood of my ancestors coursed through my veins, and the growing positivity of life and faith surrounded me and strengthened my mind.  I realized right then and there that this was not acceptable, and made the decision to defeat this!

After hearing the word “incurable”, many people would probably curl up, give in to depression, and pass away.  But surrendering to cancer never felt like an option to me.  If I had listened to my doctors and their statistics, I would not be here today. - Veronica Villanueva, The Grace of Cancer:  Lessons in Humility and Greatness. 

He finally conceded to the monthly testing, and referred me to another hematology oncologist.

* As referred by Stanford Medical Center, through the Bone Marrow Cancer Foundation, your donation is tax deductible without impacting my health coverage or tax status! 

My diagnosis is NOT my prognosis

This three and a half year journey thus began by learning all I could about cancer and this rare condition.  I left my long time physician- hallelujia! and thank you to my wife for helping me switch out-- and searched for a new doctor who would support my journey with a fresh, hopeful and helpful perspective. 

I learned that every 30 seconds a new person is diagnosed with cancer in the USA; that blood cancer such as Leukemia and Lymphoma account for 10% of all cancers, while Myeloma is the ‘smaller, younger cousin’ and accounts for estimated 1% of all cancers.  Further, there is a higher incidence in African Americans; and mostly found in men, age 60 or older, and overweight individuals. 

I had a newfound gratitude to have found out early, while being asymptomatic.  I was too blessed to be stressed!  Knowing that I am outside the traditional myeloma portfolio, I felt that this was a sign from above, telling me to prepare myself now before it might be too late.  I decided to \'pray like it’s up to God, and work (to find a cure) like it’s up to me.\'

Battling Health Science traditions, Part I  

Set down fear and imagine something different (statement, from national interfaith group, Faith In Action)

I realized I had a plan, and that I would overcome this incurable disease, and thus it only made sense to finally confide in, and consult with, my wife.  She was amazing–  steadfast in supporting me and helping me focus, finding me inspiring books of hope and faith, written by myeloma patients and cancer survivors.  I researched treatment options and learned about immunomodulators and immunotherapy-- a novel approach that kills cancer cells while simultaneously building up the immune system.  I plunged into learning:

From Multiple Myeloma: A Journey of Strength, Courage, and the Never-ending Gift of Hope, by Allan G. Osborne, etal.  I learned about treatments and strategies (doctors can refer to this as the “toolbox”).  There are treatments classified as immunomodulators, proteasome inhibitors, steroids, monoclonal antibodies, alkylating agents.  There are strategies to slow and stop cancer cell growth, others that halt cancer cell division; some that damage DNA in myeloma cells, causing them to die; one causes myeloma cell death while stimulating the immune system; another signals your immune system to attack myeloma cells; yet another slows the progression of myeloma thus causing cancer cells to die; another inhibits the growth and survival of myeloma cells, disrupting processes related to the growth and survival of cancer cells, and disrupting the myeloma cell’s ability to survive by interfering with protein metabolism.  As I write this, a new FDA approved drug known as CAR-T, or Chimeric Antigen Receptor, where the T-cell is a type of white blood cell called lymphocyte, to treat cancer (includes T-cell harvesting with genetically altered cells that attack cancer, and are reinfused into your system). 

Wow– so many no-brainers, right?!?

The Second Half is my Best Half

The Lord answers you in time of distress; the name of the God of Jacob defends you! May he send you help from the sanctuary, from Zion be your support.  – Psalm 20:1-3

At my 50th birthday party -- Covid had arrived so it was a zoom gathering -- I decided and announced that I would live at least another fifty years. I saw that science and faith, spirituality can coexist and support each other.  Sounds good, right? So, I looked for all types of studies on extending life, overcoming cancer, and became influenced by my readings and the new education, discovering amazing advancements in health and healing – the intersections of quantum physics, neuroscience, and epigenetics, including the placebo effect.   In order for medicine and treatment to be effective, you have to first believe in it and give it a chance to help you.  Past studies by a Japanese scientist, Dr. Masaru Emoto, proved how your thoughts can positively and negatively impact water molecules.  So it goes without saying that I did not fully accept the Industry words with their diagnosis and their language.  When they wouldn’t prescribe the treatment I knew I deserved and needed, I went above the physician and health plan, and appealed to the State Health department and won – I was able to get the immunotherapy! 

But, wow did the words regarding the side effects initially scare me, as I reviewed them with my wife: “Get medical help right away if you develop any of the following symptoms: signs of infection (such as a sore throat that doesn’t go away, fever, swollen lymph nodes, chills, cough), easy bleeding/bruising… may rarely cause blood clots (such as pulmonary embolism, stroke, heart attack, deep vein thrombosis)”.  

The Road Least Taken- Battling the Traditions of Science, Part II.

I continued to meet with different doctors, and requested these newfound treatment options that I’d read and studied to get the cancer cells out of my body in whatever way I knew how. When the cancer cells resisted a second time, I was denied treatment with the familiar message, that "you're not sick (enough)...”; later, I realized this position tends to be motivated by medical liability and professional fear.  I told them I was not another statistic, that I deserved the best treatment, and that I would not let their fears, bureaucracy, or politics stop me from my goals or dreams.  I appealed again with the State, and won.  

You can’t have fear and faith at the same time, and I believed I would be safe with this treatment as the cancer cells started to go away.  However, after 60 days of a higher dosage of treatment, the cancer cells fought back and returned a third time, and so I requested a stronger dosage of treatment which the doctor denied me out of fear for my long term health.  I knew this wouldn’t stop me from ridding myself of these cancer cells, and found a new doctor who helped me research a new treatment in clinical trials -- a medication classified as monoclonal antibodies, known as Darzalex or Daratumumab. It works by helping the body slow or stop the growth of cancer cells.  I was accepted into an out-of-state clinical trial with a top cancer treatment center, but another test from God appeared – the global covid19 pandemic which crashed the party in March of 2020.  All labs were shut down indefinitely; furthermore, while initially telling me I would get covered, my insurance changed its policy, and denied me out-of-state coverage.

When I met with my fifth hematology oncologist 12 months later, I had appealed twice to the State for other treatments, yet I was denied despite my diagnosis, continually told that I wasn’t ‘sick enough’.  I had already joined Myeloma patient groups, patient advocacy centers, and met with anti-cancer dietitians.

In spring of 2022, my last line of immunotherapy treatment lost effectiveness after three cycles (90 days) as my cancer cell level plateaued again, so after rigorous debate and discussion, my new oncologist asked me what I wanted to do.  I said that I needed to better understand what is best for me, and talk with a specialist; I asked if the treatments they had would get rid of the cancer cells within one line of treatment (6 months or less).  She confirmed the treatments existed, that she was not a specialist, and if my cancer cell levels ever spiked, she would give me all the treatment they had and afterwards, refer me over to Stanford’s Hematopoietic Cell Transplantation (HCT) transplant program.  For over the past year, this was what I had prayed for, and requested. I first decided to take a break and see how my body would respond after over two years of non-stop treatment and weekly blood labs.

NEW FRIENDS.

While some old friends and relationships were lost as my journey became too unrelatable, and/or unbearable, I developed immediate and deep gratitude for those new friends who shared with me their own cancer journey and battles, because our talks and their trust emboldened me, giving me strength, hope, and belief!  I once read that when someone is “near the end of life”, or has faced death head on, we should consider it a rare privilege to be allowed to share personal times and experiences.

So, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge my newfound relationships and their blessings: 

* I saw the miracle of healing when I talked with and encouraged a friend of thirty years, who has brain cancer (glioblastoma), was told by his physician that he had three months to live, and is now at year two as the tumor stopped growing, and is in high spirits.  He was blessed to have learned about life insurance which through the grace of God had got it before diagnosis, and used it to help pay for his kids’ education and home mortgage so his wife didn’t have extra financial worries;  

* I was initially inspired by two of my Canadian cousins, who were diagnosed early with breast cancer at age 30 and 40 and overcame it. 

* I also felt deeply grateful to have been one of the few who shared final moments with a fellow cancer transplant patient who didn’t make it despite receiving arguably the industry’s most advanced treatment option (CAR-T), due to heart failure – he represented 2% who didn\\\'t succeed;

* I have further gratitude for another wonderful Chinese American friend who recruited me back to eventual full court basketball at the start of my health journey, and then a few years later suddenly discovered he had a very rare type of lung/stomach (thought it was stomach cramps) cancer that metastasized to his head; he fought it for 2 years through chemotherapy, and would tell me, “Wendall, I can’t even make a layup anymore!”, before he finally succumbed and was called away;

* I have additional gratefulness to have learned strategies from an African American male friend, who was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer at age 50, yet ended up beating it with a combination of intentional exercise, discipline, and alternative healing treatments, to offset the chemotherapy;

* I remain blessed to reconnect after 30 years, with another Chinese American friend who got throat cancer, beat it with various immunotherapy and chemotherapy, but then it turned into pancreatic and is currently fighting it.  He still lives his best life, valuing every day while continuing to design award winning programs to open up new ways to do multicultural counseling and healing that centrally integrate Native American traditions.  

As the global covid pandemic raged on, I tragically lost an Uncle and a Great Uncle, but  also experience great joy when I went through the Sacrament of confirmation, accepting the Profession of Faith from my church and Diocese together with my wife, son, and daughter.  I learned to open up, sharing my story with the parish and allow people to care for me.  Sometimes we need to hear: “(Wendall) ...Don’t rob me of the joy of doing this for you”; it made me want to keep giving back in whatever way I could, so I eargerly joined the social justice ministry and graciously accepted an appointment to the Parish Leadership Team.

ADVOCACY

At this time, I learned about a pending state law to help many patients on Medi-Cal who tend to experience inferior survival rates compared to patients on private insurance. Notably, African Americans and Hispanics have the highest rates of Medi-Cal enrollment in California, at 44.3% and 44.9%, respectively. I presented for support of the pending law at St Patrick’s and received a ringing endorsement from my priest and the parish. 

Therefore in the spring of 2022, I helped to successfully advocate for the first in the nation cancer equity law.  It enables the most vulnerable populations in California seeking optimal cancer care services, such as genomic testing, precision medicine-based care, subspecialty expertise and clinical trials, and helps remove current obstacles that prevent access to innovative care for Medi-Cal beneficiaries — who represent approximately one-third of California’s population. 

Stepping Up My Health Literacy:  Finding MY Cure

Despite the support from my latest hematology oncologist, I was still denied an outside referral to a specialist (the Cancer Equity Law had not yet been implemented) being told that I had access to many doctors– but who I learned were not specialists. Studies show that access to an actual specialist helps myeloma patients live longer, versus working with general oncologists. I began to look for Myeloma treatment specialists– a physician who treats between 50 to 100 patients annually, and researches and publishes pertinent articles from the past 2 years.  By this time, I had spoken with enough hematology oncologists to quickly know their position on offering treatment!  However, I decided to take a treatment break-- yet within 30 days in April 2022, my blood tests spiked, showing a 25% increase in cancer cells.  Consequently, my physician decided to classify me with "Multiple Myeloma” , as she promised me at the onset, and opened up all types of treatments -- So, the blessing had arrived.

With the complimentary counseling and help of a third party agency, HealthTree (a Myeloma patient founded agency) and SparkCures, I learned about various medical treatments, uncovered pertinent studies, researched patient responses, and with their education, identified my own treatments. This resulted in a four drug regimen taken over a six month period, with 21 days on and seven days off; it combined immunotherapy, monoclonal antibodies, proteasome inhibitor, and a steroid (Pomalidomide, Darzalex, Kryprolis, Dexamethasone) that studies said was highly effective with minimal side effects.

MIRACLES

I had reached my third and, turns out -- my final line of treatmen. However, the four meds of weekly intravenous infusions of two separate medications, combined with weekly oral pills, weekly blood labs followed by monthly oncologist appointments, was not one commonly done in the industry. 

When the nurse set me up, he asked me to inform him if I felt ANY discomfort or temperature rise as they arranged my arm for the needle infusion.  The first time it would take up to 120 minutes, spread out over two bags.  I was doozy --  as the regimen was to gradually build up my body’s comfort level over the prescribed six, 21-day cycles.  As the infusion started, I felt my temperature rising, and the machine showed my heart rate increasing.  Fortunately, I had brought my Rosary beads and my prayer guide for strength and decided to pray, closing my eyes.  By the time I got to the third main bead (representing 30 prayers and 30 years), I began to feel a calmness and a sense of peace in me. The nurse came back and astonishingly noticed that my blood pressure and temperature had lowered.  It was a miracle.  I finished the rosary prayer and came out of that day’s treatment with higher energy, feeling emboldened by the holy spirit.  I called my wife with the amazing, glorious news, and picked up my kids from school, greeting them with a huge smile.  From that day on, any discomforts during the remaining cycles of my final induction treatment felt like a breeze!  

And after half of the final line of treatment (3 months/cycles), another amazing miracle happened– the blood labs reported that my cancer cells were “unquantifiable” – they had disappeared!  

It’s been a financial struggle going through this, navigating the healthcare system and their policies, it was not easy.  I couldn’t believe how expensive things were!  Your support at this time would mean alot. 

The Transplant

I therefore was referred to and qualified for an Autologous Hematopoietic Cell Transplantation (HCT) Transplant at Stanford’s Bone Marrow Transplant and Cellular Therapy program. The autologous transplant takes approximately two months of active therapy and life-long follow up regarding your health.  The five steps are placement of a central venous catheter, mobilization (moving HCT out of the bone marrow into the blood for collection), apheresis (collection of HCT from the blood for processing and freezing), high dose chemotherapy, transplant (cells returned to you) in which you wait for your blood counts to recover and your body to heal. 

I try my best to live by a mantra called the 5 P's -- Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance:

I decided to do the Outpatient program, and thankfully got to stay at my brother\'s quiet house 30 miles away from the hospital as required.  My wife and I participated in a few 3 hr Zoom training sessions on the Hematopoietic Cell Transplantation (HCT) Transplant program for patients and caregivers.  After much care and thought, I identified and then assembled and prepared a ten person care team to help take me to and from the hospital, and care for me afterwards in the event of an emergency (i.e. fever).  Before going through the program, my wife and I discussed that she would take care of the kids (school, meals, bedtime, programs, church), and I would figure out the finances – how to cover expenses such as mortgage, transportation/gas/tolls, over the counter medicine for side effect management, food purchase for diet adjustment (required:  low microbial diet).  With support from my brother-in-law’s mother, I worked with a local independent business woman who made anticancer soups at a cancer clinic in Oakland.  I also knew that I needed the holy spirit, and decided that I wouldn't miss one Sunday service of St Patrick's.  

Thus, in late April, 2023, with excitement and purpose, I began the Transplant program, and I reached what is called, “Day 0” –  when you have new cells put into you, and begin a new immune syste-- also known in the program as “Birth Day”.

May 8th, my new birth-day diagnosis

After the wind, the earthquake, and the fire, there was “the sound of a low whisper” (1 Kings 19:12). The Bible says, “when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out” (v. 13). 

On the fourth day after Transplant, I couldn’t get to sleep, but knew I had to be ready for the daily morning, 30 mile trip to the Clinic for the monitoring check ups with the physicians and nurses.  At this phase of transplant, you have a zero immune system to protect you from any bacterial diseases, as you wait for a new system to grow in you. I had to keep my routine of night time prayer and meditation, along with taking the pertinent side effect medications.  Throughout the first two weeks of apheresis, chemotherapy, and transplant, I actually had been sleeping pretty well. 

However, this night for some reason, my spirit was restless.  My mind was not clear, as different thoughts raced through me. I decided to shower despite my discomfort and fear of getting my Hickman catheter (a soft, small, 10” long, soft, plastic tube that, through an amazing 20 minute surgical procedure, is placed into a vein in your chest and ends in a larger vein just above your heart, allowing for high volume blood transfusion) contaminated by dirty shower water.  I had remembered a myeloma patient counselor telling me to protect it from bacterial infection to prevent sepsis, which is how she lost her husband.   

I slid into the shower after covering up the catheter with plastic wrap, and began soaping my head-- and that’s when my hair started to fall out in small clumps.  I didn’t know if the chemo\' would result in me losing my hair, as I was told there was a 40% chance I would keep my hair.  Realizing this, I decided to go the distance and fully clean my scalp of all hair.   After showering, I shaved off the rest to have a smooth feel.  I returned to bed, and slid under the covers, feeling new and clean.  I felt relaxed.  It was 2 am and my brother’s two cats had stopped playing.  It was super quiet in his house.  I began to feel a slight tingling on my upper back, like a light tickle.  I wondered what was going on.  Then it hit me – my body must be growing new cells!  I fell asleep with a smile.

The next day I checked in and my daily lab test results confirmed it. My Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC), representing mainly my white blood cells – the healing ones that make up your immune system– had started to rise!  This is the first sign of engraftment (you need three consecutive days of increase for it to be official) and was the new beginning of life in my body.  Because the high-dose chemotherapy had wiped out my blood memory cells, my immune system was like a new baby’s, and is why the program considers transplant day a patient’s new birthday.

That day’s visiting physician told me that he considered me within the top 5% of patients in their program in terms of body response. I rejoiced in another miracle!  As the saying goes, “God is good? All the time!... All the time?  God is Good!”

Reminders of being human– transplant side effects and the Grace to See my Blessings. 

“Walk by Faith, not by sight" Corinthians 2:5

While some may see me as an overachiever, I have not been without challenges:  when I returned home, I experienced two moments of extreme dizziness when I couldn’t see straight-- the room went spinning, and I had to immediately run to the bathroom and vomit; from transplant Day 0, I experienced 100% non stop diarrhea for 35 days straight; anytime out of the house, I wore the sweaty, super tight, cumbersome hepa filter mask for 60 days straight, to protect me from any bacterial exposures in the air, severely limiting communication in a depressing way.  It felt like the beginning of COVID where everything was to be scrutinized for bacterial exposure -- food, air, water, clothes.  I was away from my wife and kids for 30 days straight, with minimal text, phone, zoom communication due to fatigue.  I lost my sense of taste and desire to eat for 4 weeks.  

Thank you for sticking with me faithfully- If you can help in any way during this time?  I am in need financially having gone through surgeries, chemotherapy, immunotherapy with intravenous Infusions the past 3 years. 

But I remain eternally grateful for the blessings of the diagnosis.  I have a new immune system with all previous vaccinations wiped out of the body.  I didn’t miss one church service, and the one I was physically absent from I caught on Facebook-Live one Sunday at the clinic -- seeing my wife and kids in service and hearing my priest's powerful and uplifting sermon.  Faith kept me strong, as I even found a nearby Catholic church, walking to mass service while staying at my brother\'s house.  I was blessed with an assembly of ten different caregivers who drove me to and from the transplant center, that gracing me with wonderful, unforgettable, conversations on their life stories of health, parenting, spirituality, living, basketball and movies.  

"Just curious...after transplant, what is life like?"--  Well, I am writing this to appeal for your financial help.  

As you too may have figured out, I have been so blessed in this life.  During my health journey, I have had to put aside and separate myself from relationships and career progress to “get myself right”, as some say.  I still can get discouraged, upset and doubtful, impatient at my kids and at my wife.  I have eaten out at a restaurant two times since the entire transplant process, and refrained from any yard work (unclean dirt and air) or air travel (no vaccinations for 12 months, except COVID). I’ve lost touch with many people and networks, while meeting new friends and entering new networks.  At the time of this writing, I continue to fight to overcome gastrointestinal challenges, occasional brain fog and periodic body fatigue. 

While I live one day at a time -- the concept of patient endurance is important to embrace, despite knowing that 7 of 10 US workers could not cover their living expenses for even one month if they lost their income, and that 60% of all bankruptcies are a direct result of health conditions; I maximize my financial proficiency, literacy, and education, employing the skills, resources, accessing mentors, and building my acumen to resurrect my dream business venture, and maintain the conviction to ensure that our house in the expensive SF Bay Area will stay ‘ours’ by accessing the COVID Forbearance program, the State Homeowner Assistance Program, just a few, among numerous government programs, which enable us to be presnt in our kids’ growth and learning amidst today’s whirlwind, fast paced, technology led,society and tumultuous economy.

I remain grateful for my ancestral gift of self-advocacy and organizing, and for today\'s blessing of being a licensed financial professional, that enabled me to protect our finances from a direct hit of $2 million in medical costs over the past five years. I have made decisions to distance and protect myself and family from negativity and philosophical differences near and afar, aware that some may have judged my decisions, and say that I lost finances, friendships, and old relationships and networks.  I have always sought wisdom – knowing who belongs in your past and who belongs in your future– and have regained my hope for humanity, and faith in God. I choose to walk in faith and not by sight, and remind myself often when negativity in the form of doubt, distractions, and details (devil is in it) surrounds me, that at the end of the day, that if God is with me, who can be against me, and that only God can judge me! 

Resurrection:  Imagining the fullness of life, for everyone

I recently had my appointment with my Myeloma/hematology specialist at Stanford, and it was determined that I have successfully advanced past my 90 day transplant marker from Day 0… and while I continue to have ‘reminders’ that I have not (yet) fully healed physically and emotionally, the cancer cells continue to be ‘non quantifiable’ and non-existent.  And as I was proactive at diagnosis five years ago in my approach to eliminating this ‘incurable’ disease, it was decided that no further or additional treatment is necessary.  Amen.

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man. (Heraclitus, Greek philosopher)  

This is not the end, but just a new beginning.

My daily affirmations:  

*The Spirit of the Lord is always with me and I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.  

*Today is my day and every day is my day.  I can do it, and I will succeed.

*I will not live in my fears, but in my hopes and dreams.

*I will embrace all adversity, and overcome it by converting the negativity into positivity, leading to productivity and eventual prosperity. 

 *I will live each day with joy, hope, love and compassion, with a plan and execution.

…KEEP ON, KEEPING ON!  

“But you shall receive power when the HolySpirit has come upon you.”  (Acts 1:8)

... Thank you again, and may God bless you!

October 31tst, 2023

Oakland, California